Ghosting: Rude, Yes — But Also Bad for Mental Health

Anyone who is a frequent user of the internet or dating apps is most likely familiar with the term ghosting. Those who aren’t familiar, consider yourselves lucky! If you’ve ever had a person abruptly stop all communications with you without providing any explanation - then you’ve experienced this unfortunate phenomenon.

Quite ubiquitous in today’s digital landscape, ghosting is done for many reasons. Perhaps the person doing the ghosting doesn’t want to go through the uncomfortable awkwardness that can occur when telling a person that they never want to see them again. Another reason can be fear of intimacy or vulnerability. Or, ghosting can be an easy way to remove oneself from a situation that feels unsafe or dangerous. Regardless of the reason behind it, the outcome for the person being ghosted is usually the same - feelings of confusion, anger, inadequacy or sadness.

One psychology professor at Wesleyan University was curious as to how modern society’s preference towards abandoning relationships so casually is affecting our mental health. To get insight into the problem, she recruited 76 college students and conducted a study where participants took part in focus groups, where the topic was discussed in depth.

Unsurprisingly, the study’s results concluded that many of those who had been ghosted felt distraught and overwhelmed by the confusion of the experience, leading to feelings of low self-esteem and sometimes even paranoia. Long term, it was found that there is the potential for feelings of mistrust to develop for the ghostee that can extend into their future relationships. Surprisingly though, some took the experience of being ghosted as a wake up call and delved into self-reflection, as they wondered why they had been ghosted and tried to improve themselves.

Overall, someone who ghosts frequently can be less adept at dealing with relationship issues if they use the tactic as a crutch when dealing with interpersonal difficulties. Ghosting clearly isn’t doing anyone any favors, and it’s more healthy in the long run to learn how to communicate with other people, even if it isn’t always pleasant. Having uncomfortable conversations is usually worth it.